Body Dysmorphia: Beyond the Mirror to Reflect the Wisdom of the Mind
Aligning Self-Perception with True Worth
Mental and physical health, wellness, and vitality are pillars of a purpose-built life. Regardless of whether you model, act, manage a household, or run a business, everyone distorts their self-image at times. Body dysmorphia is not confined to one gender—it transcends demographics, often impacting even those we see as the most attractive.
At its core, body dysmorphia is a distortion of reality, where an individual views themselves in a way that impairs their sense of form and being. This distortion arises from comparison, self-minimization, or inflated perceptions of others, leading to internal criticism, noise, and self-judgment. There also can be layers of self-pride that bring in criticism from the outside.
"True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul." – Audrey Hepburn
The Roots of Body Dysmorphia: A Distorted Lens
To dismantle the layers of this distortion, it’s essential to understand its roots and etymology. The term itself provides insight:
Dys- (bad, impaired)
Morphē (shape, form)
Life presents phases and moments where perceptions become skewed, particularly when we’re facing challenges—whether inflating certain attributes of ourselves or deflating others. Consider someone who fixates on their “flaws,” even though they have outward attractiveness, or the person consumed by a past version of themselves, dwelling on what they once were or how they wasted their looks, youth, and vitality or on something that someone said
The challenge with this distorted view doesn't just affect self-image; it creates mental noise you can’t escape from, distracting individuals from loving their life and maximizing their true potential. These moments perpetuate cycles of guilt and shame that block us from appreciating the entirety of who we are and what we bring to the world. When you take care of a valuable asset, its value appreciates over time.
"You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength." – Marcus Aurelius
Comparison: The Trap That Distorts Reality
Comparison, in its essence, is neutral; it provides contrast and depth to our experiences. It becomes harmful when taken to extremes of only seeing and appreciating one side of someone or ourselves. When you inflate the benefits of another and deflate your own attributes, you distort reality. Energy comes in all forms and frequencies—anything you see in someone else is a reflection within you; it just may not be in the exact form you're admiring or dispising in them.
Imagine a woman who compares her eyes to one actress, her eyebrows to another, her nose to another, her legs to yet another, her butt to another, and it doesn’t stop at the body it goes on with comparing her outfit to yet another woman, her home to yet another and so on. She creates a fragmented ideal in the mind, Frankensteined together from individual attributes creating unrealistic expectations and standards to live by. Beating herself up for being skinny fat. And not seeing the whole picture, all while ignoring the price they paid. The lifestyle sacrifices, challenges, costs, struggles, or maintenance required to maintain what they have.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." – Eleanor Roosevelt
This imbalance leads to fantasies and illusions of one-sided perfection, which inevitably create a nightmare of self-judgment. To break free from illusions and addictions to seeking a one-sided reality, wisdom lies in identifying the specific traits you admire or envy. Using the power of reflective awareness, you can recognize how you embody those same qualities in your unique form, appreciating the unloved parts of yourself. True self-perception arises not from comparing fragmented ideals but from embracing your wholeness. And seeing other’s poses that wholeness as well, if you admire their confidence, they’ll also be unconfident to the same degree.
Reclaiming Your Worth: Aligning with Intrinsic Values
Every judgment you make stems from a disowned part of yourself. Whether you inflate or deflate an aspect of your being, both extremes leave you with a sense of unfulfillment and emptiness. Rather than fleeting moments of elation, the path to reclaiming your worth lies in embracing the balance of both sides of who you are.
For example, you may idolize your youth and resent the aging process. But by focusing solely on the benefits of youth, you overlook the wisdom, experience, relationships, and depth that age has brought you. Similarly, comparing yourself to others can create imbalanced power dynamics in relationships, with one individual controlling the wealth, resources, and direction of the family. This is why it’s important to live a purpose-built life as early as you can, so you’re not living by envy and regrets. Clarify how the past has served you and empower yourself to do what’s most meaningful instead of distorting life with how it “should” be.
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." – Oscar Wilde
Energy cannot be created or destroyed; neither can human traits. What you admire in others exists within you, though it will be in a different form. Recognizing this, you reclaim your power and have the ability to align with your most meaningful priorities and highest values. The result is authenticity, resilience, and an appreciation for where you are, as well as clarity about where you are headed. Rather than the comparision and yo-yo-ing in the mind. You have the choice to put the challeng in personal growth and purpose or leave it as feedback in the mind.
Shift from Judgment to Gratitude
Body dysmorphia is feedback, signaling that your perceptions are out of balance. To transform this feedback and work through past perceptions keeping you stuck in judgment:
Clarify Your Comparisons: Write down the specific traits you admire in others or wish you had. If it’s resentment of someone harassing or insulting you about a feature, get clear on that as well. Episodic memories are associated with specific moments until you can equilibrate the judgment or split in your psyche from those experiences.
Anything You Judge Is Reflection: If it’s only intellectualized or in your subconscious mind, and you can’t see that you already embody qualitatively and quantitatively, it will keep returning to your life as feedback.
Radiance Through Authenticity
The goal is not to “fix” yourself but to align your self-perception with the truth of who you are (+/-). You have a beautiful side and an ugly side, not just in your physical form but also in your demeanor and attitude. As you balance your mind and embrace the wholeness of who you are, you naturally radiate authenticity like light (+/-). This radiance attracts others—not because of superficial looks but because of genuine authenticity.
Body dysmorphia forces you to confront the gap between your perceptions and your intrinsic worth. By addressing the root cause, you have the choice to transcend societal norms and standards and embrace a deeper appreciation of your body, mind, and the soul’s wisdom guiding you.
Your authenticity is your authority, and appreciating the wholeness of who you are is far greater than any fantasy or unrealistic standard imposed upon you.
Embrace the Whole You
Body dysmorphia has more to do with the mind than the body. One can do glycolic peels, microdermabrasion, lasering, surgery, facials, add silicone, fake hair, lashes, or teeth—and there is nothing wrong with those—but addressing the underlying components creating the noise is wisdom. Otherwise, nightmares arise to balance out the fantasy.
The most powerful thing you can do is align your life with your intrinsic values and priorities, shifting from chasing external validation to appreciating who you already are and the moments that created you on this trajectory. Self-love is not about comparison but about gratitude for your journey and who you really are.
If you’re ready to take this journey and delve deeper into uncovering the power of your perceptions to build a purpose-built life and calling, request a consultation.
